so pizza at midnight wasnt a good plan. pizza at 1am, however, is.
So I don’t know if you knew but there are these new mouthwash bottles.
And when you squeeze the bottle the top fills up.
And no more will come out.
So here’s my proposition…
YOU WILL NEVER NEED A SHOT GLASS AGAIN
YOUR MOVE ALCOHOL INDUSTRY
woah that’s brilliant
Cards Against Humanity.
I’m a big fan. Well, I bought this.
It’s great. It hold all of my shit. But it holds something else too.
If you have it, open your box.
You see how I started to tear away at the top of the box there?
Do it carefully.
There’s something in there. What could that be?
There’s a card.
There is a card literally hidden in the top of the box.
But what card?
I fucking love these people.
This is absolutely amazing.
debating pizza at midnight
THE BEACH MAKES ME SO ANGRY BECAUSE YOU JUST GET SAND EVERYWHERE SAND IN YOUR SHOES, SAND IN YOUR HANDBAG, SAND IN YOUR BRA, SAND IN YOUR VAGINA, YOU GO TO THE BEACH AND YOU COME BACK MADE OF FUCKING SAND, YOU GET PREGNANT AND GIVE BIRTH TO A SAND BABY YOU CANNOT GET RID OF SAND IT STAYS WITH YOU FOREVER FUCK SAND
- Me on my wedding day: you still like me right
like im constantly concerned for people meeting me. “hey, do you need advil? a cold compress perhaps? alzheimer’s?” i fucking overwhelm myself at this point.